


ROSE: EDUCATE/EMBARRASS JOHN

by CidGregor



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Pesterlog, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-10
Updated: 2011-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-20 07:35:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CidGregor/pseuds/CidGregor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose must encourage John to be comfortable with his sexual desires the only way she knows how: by sharing her own with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ROSE: EDUCATE/EMBARRASS JOHN

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt at homesmut, the Homestuck kink meme on LiveJournal. Enjoy.

\--ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]--

GT: bluh.   
TT: Why hello and good evening to you too, John.   
GT: hey.   
TT: I must profess my curiosity regarding the lateness of your return to the cyber world.  
TT: You’re usually here informing me of the day’s mundane events hours earlier.  
TT: Any less and I wouldn’t have thought to make note of it, but we humans are nothing if not creatures of habit.  
TT: Thus deviation from the routine implies the unexpected and the particularly interesting.  
TT: And your less than enthusiastic greeting suggests the unpleasant as well.   
GT: geez you’re good.  
GT: you could seriously pass for a psychic.  
GT: like, that’s legitimately scary how you do that.   
TT: I must make at least some effort to live up to my reputation now and then.  
TT: But let us pretend for a moment that I am not imitating a spook or a psychic.  
TT: And that instead I am merely a properly concerned friend.   
GT: oh, it’s fine, i’m fine, don’t get all worried or anything like that.  
GT: i just need to relax and zone out for a while.   
TT: Very well.  
TT: Curiosity remains alive and well, however.   
GT: i don’t wanna talk about it.   
TT: Really?  
TT: Color my curiosity piqued even further, then.  
TT: You’ve never been unwilling to talk before.   
GT: it’s nothing.   
TT: John.  
TT: You’re a terrible liar.  
TT: Even over the internet.  
TT: The degree to which you are bad at lying is quite staggering, actually.   
GT: really, it’s nothing!  
GT: i just got in trouble for...something.   
TT: Trouble?  
TT: Of the legal or the parental sort?   
GT: i don’t wanna talk about it!   
TT: I see.  
TT: Would you prefer if I left you alone to your misery, then?   
GT: bluh, no...  
GT: sorry, i know you’re just worried...  
GT: it’s just really embarrassing.  
GT: and talking about it with you would be like...  
GT: embarrassing squared.   
TT: Me?   
GT: yeah.   
TT: And what makes me so special?   
GT: cuz, y’know.  
GT: you’re a girl.   
TT: I see.  
TT: The possibilities are rapidly shrinking now.  
TT: But I’ll be nice and let you tell me yourself before I mortify you further by deducing.  
TT: What would embarrass you to talk to a close personal friend about merely because of her ovaries?   
GT: you’ll think i’m gross if i say it!   
TT: John, I feel I must reiterate my point that we are very good friends.  
TT: That won’t change because of an embarrassing story or two.   
GT: easy for you to say.  
GT: you’re not the one being needled.   
TT: Very well. Would you feel more at ease if I shared an embarrassing story first?   
GT: ...uh.  
GT: i dunno.  
GT: maybe?  
GT: i didn’t think you had any embarrassing stories.   
TT: I assure you I do.  
TT: If I share first, will you promise to talk to me?  
TT: I will promise in return not to share the details with anyone else.   
GT: well...  
GT: i guess that’d be okay...   
TT: You promise, then?   
GT: siiiiiiiiiiiiigh  
GT: okay, okay, i promise.  
GT: so what’s your embarrassing story?  
GT: it better be good and tease-worthy!   
TT: My mother introduced me to sex education at age eleven.  
TT: She did so by purchasing a pornographic film and forcing me to sit there and watch it.  
TT: From beginning to end.  
TT: With her.  
TT: It was quite possibly the most horrific moment of my life.   
GT: gah!  
GT: eww, rose, that’s so gross!  
GT: why would you tell me that?!   
TT: It was an embarrassing moment, as we agreed.  
TT: It was only after thorough research on the subject and many hours of self-experimenting that the idea of sex didn’t absolutely disgust me.   
GT: aaaaaaahhhh rose you don’t have to tell me THAT stuff!!   
TT: Pardon?   
GT: i didn’t mean you had to tell me really private...y’know...private things...!   
TT: I’m not sure I follow.   
GT: ah, jeez...   
TT: Are you saying my story is far more embarrassing than yours?   
GT: oh jeez, yeah.  
GT: yours is WAY worse.   
TT: Then what are you so afraid of?   
GT: i just...uh.   
TT: Yes?   
GT: man...  
GT: you swear you won’t tell anyone?   
TT: Not a soul will know this conversation took place except you and I.   
GT: okay...  
GT: see...  
GT: um.   
TT: I can practically HEAR you blushing.   
GT: well it’s still embarrassing!  
GT: gah okay fine!  
GT: i had a nudie magazine and my dad caught me looking at it okay?!   
TT: ...is that all?   
GT: well...  
GT: man...  
GT: okay, so...maybe I wasn’t JUST looking at it...   
TT: Yes, I got the implication.  
TT: Is that really it?   
GT: ...uh.  
GT: i...guess so?  
GT: i mean, i got in trouble and stuff and dad took away the magazine and lectured me for a while.  
GT: and that’s why i was late.  
GT: and uh...yeah, i guess that’s the whole story.   
TT: Ugh.   
GT: see, i told you it was gross.   
TT: Oh, no, John, my disgust wasn’t directed at you.   
GT: huh?   
TT: I can’t believe your dad punished you for masturbating.   
GT: gah!   
TT: What?   
GT: don’t say that!   
TT: Why not?  
TT: That’s what you were doing, right? You were masturbating?  
TT: And your dad punished you for it?   
GT: aaaahhhh quit saying it!   
TT: Why?   
GT: because!  
GT: it’s...gross!  
GT: and wrong!   
TT: Oh dear.  
TT: It’s already setting in.   
GT: huh?  
GT: what are you talking about?   
TT: The paranoia. The fear. The self-disgust and shame.  
TT: It’s a common parenting pitfall.   
GT: um...i think you lost me, rose...   
TT: I’m hoping that’s not the case. Perhaps I can still salvage your dignity.  
TT: John, I want you to listen to me very, very carefully.   
GT: o...kay...?   
TT: Whatever your dad may have lectured at you about how shameful or improper masturbation is, he’s wrong.  
TT: It is completely okay to feel physical attraction to the human body, whether clothed or unclothed.  
TT: And there is absolutely nothing at all that is wrong, gross, bad, or unnatural about masturbating.   
GT: ...really?   
TT: Yes, really.  
TT: Everybody masturbates, John. And I do mean literally everybody.  
TT: You, me, our friends, our parents, complete strangers we’ve never met, even some species of animals.  
TT: Everybody has masturbated at least at some point in their life.  
TT: If they insist otherwise they either haven’t discovered it yet, or they are lying.   
GT: oh.  
GT: wow.  
GT: everybody?   
TT: Everybody.  
TT: It’s a completely and one hundred percent natural urge. Especially at our current ages where we are discovering sexuality.  
TT: But because it’s a form of sexual satisfaction it has been historically suppressed and demonized as something foul and punishable.  
TT: Parents will tend to discipline their children for partaking in what they see as a lewd and indecent activity, while ignoring the fact that they themselves have at some point done so and most likely still do.   
GT: wow.  
GT: i had no idea.   
TT: Admittedly neither did I, until a while after my mother’s attempt at sex education.  
TT: Like I said, I’ve spent a long time researching the subject and self-experimenting.   
GT: self-experimenting?  
GT: you mean, you...um...  
GT: when you say everybody does it, that includes, uh...   
TT: Go ahead, John. Ask what you want to ask.   
GT: guh.  
GT: jeez...  
GT: are you saying you...um...  
GT: masturbate?   
TT: Of course I masturbate, John.   
GT: oh.  
GT: oh wow.  
GT: uhm. wow.   
TT: Is that surprising?   
GT: well...yeah, a little!  
GT: i can’t really picture you doing something like that.  
GT: but you did say everybody, so...  
GT: i guess the surprising part is that you can say it so...easily!   
TT: Well, I must confess, I wouldn’t discuss such a thing with just anyone.  
TT: And certainly not in public.   
GT: oh jeez, yeah, no way...!   
TT: But in confidence and privacy, with someone I trust, I’m comfortable with sharing.   
GT: oh.  
GT: that’s kind of an honor then, heh.  
GT: so...how, uh...  
GT: I mean...   
TT: Yes?  
TT: I am an open book tonight, John, you can ask me anything you want and I will answer truthfully.  
TT: Trust me, you need the education.   
GT: oh.  
GT: heh.  
GT: well, uh, okay, in that case.  
GT: how do girls do it?   
TT: Masturbate?   
GT: um, yeah.  
GT: it’s gotta be pretty different, just because of different parts and stuff, right?   
TT: Were there no pictures of girls masturbating in your magazine?   
GT: um...no, not really.   
TT: Well, you are at least familiar with the general anatomy, correct?   
GT: uh...sort of?  
GT: i mean...  
GT: the girls just sorta posed normally in the pictures.  
GT: it never showed, like, really close up down there or anything.  
GT: just like...a little line.  
GT: and sometimes some hair.  
GT: dave said it’s because playboy is really tame and i don’t need the 'heavy stuff' yet.   
TT: Ah. Dave. Of course. I assume the magazine came from him.   
GT: ...maybe.   
TT: We’ll graciously ignore that detail.   
GT: yes, let’s.   
TT: So then if I were to throw certain key terms at you such as “labia” or “clitoris,” I assume I would receive a blank stare and a few choice monosyllabic expressions of ignorance.   
GT: ...uh...   
TT: I thought so.  
TT: Hmm.   
GT: what is it?   
TT: I’m trying to think of a good way to explain this, as your magazine was uninformative, and thieved from you besides.  
TT: I don’t suppose your internet is of free use to you as far as websites of an adult nature?   
GT: uh.  
GT: no, definitely not.  
GT: parental blocks.   
TT: Naturally.  
TT: Hmm.   
GT: it’s okay if it’s too embarrassing for you...  
GT: guh, sorry, i shouldn’t have even asked...   
TT: No, you’re more than welcome to ask.  
TT: I’m glad you’re asking, really, asking questions is the path to enlightenment.  
TT: I’m just not sure I can answer adequately by merely describing the process to you with anatomy you’re entirely unfamiliar with.   
GT: oh.  
GT: uh, I guess that makes sense.   
TT: Well.  
TT: I suppose there is one way.  
TT: A bit of a potentially disastrous one, but it seems we don’t have a lot of options at the moment.  
TT: So this way will have to do.   
GT: okay...and, uh, what is it?   
TT: Before I answer, I feel compelled to remind you that the entirety of this correspondence is sworn to secrecy between us.   
GT: yeah, yeah, of course.  
GT: totally secret.  
GT: why’d you feel like you had to say that again?   
TT: Because I’m about to give you an idea of exactly how much I trust you not to break our promise.   
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] invited ghostlyTrickster [GT] to video chat--   
GT: huh?  
GT: i don’t get it.   
TT: Accept the invitation.   
GT: my webcam isn’t even on though.   
TT: It doesn’t need to be.   
GT: um.  
GT: okay, if you say so.  
GT: clicking accept...   
\--ghostlyTrickster [GT] is now in video chat--   
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] is now in video chat--   
GT: okay, now what?  
GT: wait.  
GT: what...  
GT: OH GOD!  
GT: rose is that you?!   
TT: Yes.   
GT: why are you naked?!   
TT: Because you asked.   
GT: i didn’t ask you to get naked!   
TT: No, you asked how girls masturbate.  
TT: As it happens, in my particular case, I prefer to masturbate naked.   
GT: oh god...  
GT: i shouldn’t be watching this!  
GT: this has gotta be illegal or something!   
TT: John.  
TT: Calm. Down.  
TT: Take a deep breath, all the way in and all the way out, and remember what I told you.  
TT: It is perfectly natural to masturbate.   
GT: but i can see you!  
GT: i can see...ALL of you!  
GT: i’m practically spying on you!   
TT: Correction.  
TT: I have expressly invited and allowed you to see me.  
TT: You would be right about this being a bad thing to do if you were indeed spying on me without my knowledge or permission.  
TT: However since I have given my very thorough consent, you are welcome to look as much as you like.  
TT: And you should by no means feel guilt or shame in doing so.   
GT: i shouldn’t?   
TT: Correct. This is a crucial concept, John. The idea of consent.  
TT: Between consenting individuals, there is nothing to be ashamed of.   
GT: so...i can really...look at you? like this?  
GT: because you’re okay with it?  
GT: and it’s totally not bad at all?   
TT: Correct again. Now you’re getting it.   
GT: okay...  
GT: okay, i think i understand...   
TT: So then, what do you see?  
TT: Be as honest as you can, don’t be afraid.   
GT: um...  
GT: i see...  
GT: wow.  
GT: i see a really, really pretty girl that’s totally letting me see her naked and it’s really exciting.   
TT: Pretty?  
TT: You think I’m pretty?   
GT: well...  
GT: you said to be honest, right?   
TT: I did, yes. Forgive me, you took me off guard for a moment.   
GT: oh, jeez, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean anything by it...   
TT: Don’t apologize.  
TT: Your initial shock led me to incorrectly color my expectations.  
TT: I’m actually quite flattered.  
TT: Thank you, John, that makes this significantly easier.   
GT: heh...you’re welcome.   
TT: Now, returning to the point, I believe you asked about girls and masturbation.   
GT: oh, yeah.  
GT: um, wow.  
GT: are you really gonna show me how you...y’know...do it?  
GT: rose?  
GT: why’re you moving the camera down?  
GT: oh.  
GT: OH.  
GT: oh jeez.  
GT: oh man.  
GT: oh jeez.   
TT: I trust this view is a bit more informative regarding female anatomy.   
GT: jesus yes.  
GT: it’s so...pink.  
GT: I had no idea it looked like that when you open your legs up.  
GT: no wonder you do this naked.   
TT: Yes, many features of the vagina tend to be hidden when standing upright.   
GT: and you don’t have as much hair around it as those girls in the magazine.   
TT: They’ve had more time to grow than I.  
TT: But that isn’t the relevant part.  
TT: The exact mechanics of masturbating can vary from one woman to another, so I can only demonstrate my own preferences.  
TT: I prefer to stroke around the outer labia for a little while first.  
TT: This part here that looks a bit like lips, just on the edge of the vaginal opening.   
GT: holy god, rose.  
GT: please keep going.  
GT: rose?   
TT: Sorry. Typing one handed is decidedly slower.   
GT: that’s okay.   
TT: As stimulation begins to build I move toward the inner labia.  
TT: The vagina’s natural reaction to this sort of stimulation is to produce a fluid lining to act as a lubricant in preparation for receiving what it expects is a male penis.   
GT: oh jeez, really?  
GT: that’s where the boy is supposed to put his...?   
TT: Yes.  
TT: In this exercise however, my fingers will substitute.   
GT: oh man...  
GT: rose you look incredible like this.  
GT: wow, that...wow, that’s a lot of...um...lubricant.  
GT: rose?  
GT: oh, heh, i see you there.  
GT: pretty hard to type with you’ve got your other hand on your boob!   
TT: Sorry.  
TT: That’s another reason I prefer to masturbate naked.  
TT: Female breasts and nipples are particularly sensitive.  
TT: Stimulating them as well can increase the overall pleasure.  
TT: It’s getting hard to resist the urge.   
GT: it’s totally okay, really...  
GT: i mean wow, watching you play with your own boob is...  
GT: well it’s really awesome.   
TT: thank you  
TT: after warming up  
TT: a special organ becomes more swollen and noticeable  
TT: like a penis growing erect  
TT: this part here when you pull back this fleshy hood above the vaginal opening  
TT: its called the clitoris  
TT: and stimulating it is extremely pleasurable  
TT: between repeatedly thrusting a pair of fingers inside the vaginal opening, massaging the clitoris with my thumb, and the aforementioned breast play with my current typing hand  
TT: peak pleasure can be achieved within minutes if i don’t draw it out longer   
GT: wow, you must be really into it.  
GT: your typing is getting as lazy as dave’s.   
TT: sorry  
TT: hard to focus   
GT: oh, jeez, well don’t let me distract you.  
GT: you can just...do that for a while.   
TT: ok  
TT: shouldnt take long at this rate   
GT: heh, i can tell.  
GT: you’re moving a lot faster than when you started...  
GT: jesus rose this is super duper sexy.  
GT: i really hope you’re not offended but this is really making me want to...y’know...   
TT: no  
TT: not at all  
TT: go ahead   
GT: really?   
TT: yes  
TT: im kind of curious about how boys do it too actually   
GT: okay...  
GT: um...  
GT: i dunno if i can describe it as good as you...   
TT: just turn your webcam on  
TT: i know the basic anatomy  
TT: im just curious how you actually do it   
GT: oh...  
GT: well, okay...  
GT: since you’re letting me see i guess i can let you see too.  
GT: here, one sec...   
TT: oh there you are  
TT: goodness john youre solid as a rock   
GT: yeah, it almost kind of hurts  
GT: but jeeeeeez it feels good to finally rub it.   
TT: looks like you have it a lot easier than us girls.   
GT: heh yeah sorry.  
GT: hey rose?   
TT: yes?   
GT: could you maybe  
GT: um  
GT: play with your boobs a little more?   
TT: my boobs?  
TT: john, are you a fan of my boobs?   
GT: i can’t help it rose you have really pretty boobs!   
TT: okay  
TT: like this john?   
GT: oh jeez, yeah, just like that  
GT: oh man that’s really sexy rose   
TT: if i may ask in return  
TT: will you zoom out  
TT: so i can see your face while you masturbate?   
GT: okay...how come?   
TT: i confess  
TT: i find glasses sexy   
GT: ohhhhh  
GT: heh  
GT: okay there  
GT: glasses shot for rose   
TT: that’s perfect john  
TT: you look adorable   
GT: guh  
GT: rose  
GT: im uh  
GT: not gonna last a lot longer   
TT: me neither  
TT: john   
GT: yeah?  
GT: what is it?  
GT: rose?   
TT: jiopkjl;'''''''''''''   
GT: oh man what are you doing?  
GT: you’re twitching  
GT: and watery stuff’s shooting out of your  
GT: OH  
GT: oh jesus you just  
GT: oh god I cant hold it anymore  
GT: I gotta finish this rose brb   
TT: Whew.  
TT: Yes, that was an orgasm, if you were unfamiliar with the term.  
TT: An especially satisfying one, for the record.  
TT: I see you’re enjoying one yourself.  
TT: My goodness your face is bunched up in the most adorable fashion.  
TT: As much as one can use the word "adorable" to describe the process of releasing one’s seed into a handful of tissue paper.  
TT: No, don’t rush to get back to me, savor the moment.  
TT: I’ll wait.   
GT: guuuuuuuhhhhh.  
GT: rose that was so crazy but it felt soooooo good!   
TT: Agreed.  
TT: I trust you feel a little better about yourself now?   
GT: heh...yeah, actually.  
GT: that was kinda freeing.   
TT: Not to mention educational and mutually satisfying.   
GT: heh.  
GT: right back to all your fancy vocabulary huh?   
TT: I must be true to myself.   
GT: haha, of course.  
GT: well...   
TT: Yes?   
GT: ah jeez, just...thanks, rose.   
TT: You’re welcome, John.  
TT: I’m glad I could fill you in before you became repressed and self-loathing.  
TT: Just remember.  
TT: Don’t ever feel guilty about this.  
TT: Or any of your natural feelings.   
GT: heh, i’ll try to keep that in mind.   
TT: Good.   
GT: i’m gonna go pass out now.  
GT: and sleep for like, ever.   
TT: Likewise. Goodnight, John.   
GT: night, rose.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT]\--

 

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT]\--

TT: John?  
TT: I guess you’ve gone already.  
TT: I just forgot to say.  
TT: Thank you, as well.  
TT: It may sound strange, considering the nature of our activity, but I’ve never felt closer to you than I do now.  
TT: I will treasure this memory always.  
TT: And...well, that’s all, I suppose.  
TT: Goodnight John.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT]\--

\-- ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]\--

GT: <3  
GT: me too rose.  
GT: night!

\--ghostlyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]\--


End file.
